The other night, my twin sister Rita, shared this link on facebook and wrote “Yes! This lady is amazing & so brave ❤.” I was obviously intrigued so I sat and watched the whole video. Bearing in mind, it was all in Punjabi, it required my full attention. As I sat watching this video, I welled up and cried throughout it.
It was the first time that I’ve seen a Punjabi (or any Asian) parent who is SO accepting of their LGBT child. Even in today’s society, it’s still a topic that isn’t openly discussed as many Asian parents are still unable to understand it. Which is why hearing this Auntie Ji (Manjinder’s mum) discuss it in Punjabi was so powerful. I respect the notion behind the video, so it can be shown to other Asian parents for them to be able to understand what homosexuality is.
Acceptance is what every child wants from their parents, whether they’re in an interfaith relationship, same-sex relationship etc, it’s all the same. If it’s against the norm, there are children who are terrified to reveal their true selves to their parents. I’ve received a lot of feedback from the advice my dad gave on how to tell your parents about your interfaith relationship about how it has helped many people. Acceptance is the major key to any healthy parent-child relationship. Auntie Ji gives her advice to other parents whose children come out as LGBT, she says:
I want to tell them, that they should accept their child. Don’t tell them “No, this is not right.” Instead, accept what God has given
Auntie Ji goes on to explain how some Asian parents lie about their LGBT children, that they marry them against their will. Whether it’s in the UK or India, it happens. Not only do they ruin the lives of their children, but also who they are forced to marry. This was such an important point that she and Manjinder brought up because this happens too often. Many Asian parents believe if “we get them married off”, then it will fix the problem, again so wrong.
Hearing the struggles they both faced is a reassuring factor for others out there. It gives them hope that after the struggle, that things will be okay. She mentions that she had no idea that her son, Manjinder was homosexual, but her love is unconditional. The struggles are the same for any family in the same situation, but she goes on to prove how they can be overcome.
“You’ve chosen to be like this”
How many times have we heard this before? A lot of parents don’t understand homosexuality and how to react when their children come out to them. “You’ve chosen to be like this” is one of the most popular statements. Auntie Ji responds with: “Saying such things can have a bad effect on your child, mentally and emotionally. They didn’t ‘choose’ this life. God did.” She goes on to give her tips to other parents, listen to your children, don’t pressurise them, don’t force them, accept your child’s happiness.
This video is going viral and has now received a lot of positive feedback, it just goes to show that this is something the Asian community needed. A change to the norm from a perspective of the older generation, just makes it that much more powerful. Manjinder is a human rights activist, life coach and spiritual counsellor, helping people worldwide. Watch the video and all his links are below it.
Thank you to Manjinder and his mum for doing a brave thing and helping others out there. Secret Wedding Blog has your support 100%.