I’m listening back to Nihal on bbc Asian network where he was discussing the topic -
Is it impossible to keep everyone happy at an Asian wedding?
If you haven’t been to an Asian wedding, you’re probably a bit confused. Back in the day the bride and groom’s families would invite pretty much everyone they know. Which is why Asian weddings are usually full of hundreds and hundreds of people. It’s a wedding, it’s not culturally acceptable not to invite your aunties, uncles, cousins etc. This topic arose because a bride walked out of her own wedding in India because the groom’s side were presented with chicken when they demanded mutton by the bride’s family. She walked out, and never returned!
Personally, I don’t think it is possible to keep everyone happy at an Asian wedding. There are so many Asian weddings, especially during the summer - wedding season. If you’re living in the Asian community, you can be expected to attend weddings almost every weekend. That’s why some of my many cousins in Derby, can’t stand weddings, they go to them so often, it becomes a chore.
One listener phoned in and said “It should be a privilege to get invited to a wedding, it’s a privilege to get invited to an English wedding” - this is because you are invited because you are wanted there to help celebrate their big day.View Source
Asian families will still continue to invite people because they feel like they have to.
Luckily, I live outside of the ‘indian community’ so I don’t get invited to a wedding every weekend, so when I do get invited, I absolutely love it. I still have the love for weddings and especially as I’m invited to those who want me there (and remember us non-community folk!).
I attended my friends Beth and Lawrie’s wedding in Cornwall and that was very friends based. What I loved about it was that I still got a chance to interact with the couple and they knew I was there. At some very large Asian weddings, the bride or groom may not even know who you are! Or that you are even there!
Another listener even said that Asian couples are fooling themselves because the wedding isn’t about them, it’s about the 600 guests attending, ensuring they enjoy themselves. Nihal pointed out that this is such a cultural difference, as you’d never say that about non-Asian weddings. Which I agree with.
With all the money spent on weddings and the year of planning, it should be up to the bride and groom at the end of the day. One listener rang in to say that her nephew had a multicultural intimate wedding with only about 40 guests and that was one of only Asian weddings she attended where everyone was happy. No aunties moaning about the food, the bride’s attire, the decor etc. They invited only who they really wanted there which made the day perfect. Some people will of course be annoyed that they aren’t invited but that is the action you’ll need to take in order to have happy guests enjoy your wedding day with you.
I personally think that in order to have a wedding enjoyed by all is to have a smaller wedding, you don’t need to invite your mum’s brother’s wife’s dad’s cousin. It was done in the past, but in order to control these Asian weddings, keeping them small is a win win for everyone. Plus think about the money you can save to spend on something else like your honeymoon!
I’d love to know what you think, no right or wrong answers, all opinions at the end of the day
*Featured image source - southasianbridemagazine.com