One of the first things that Mark and I did when we got engaged (well after he proposed, not our official engagement) was to draw up a rough guest list. We wanted to see how many numbers we had in mind which would determine the venue we picked. In case you missed it, the venue we picked is a beautiful barn in Suffolk which you can read more about here.
We knew the guest list would change over the 2 years we had to wait for our wedding and it still definitely will. We’ve sent out majority of our save the dates as early as we could because next year is already getting so busy. I’ve actually got 6 weddings next year including my own so I wanted to ensure our date was saved asap!
One of the decisions we had to make early was whether to invite children to our wedding or not. This is quite common for the average non-Asian wedding and I totally understand why. However for my family and culture, kids are expected to be invited. So the conversation of not inviting children to your wedding can be quite awkward to have in my culture.
Kids at weddings
Anyone who knows myself and Mark (Marj) will know that we love children. I’ve grown up surrounded by many siblings and cousins; and now I get the benefits of spending time with my friend’s children. In Mark’s case he excels at being a cool uncle to his niece and nephews.
Children at weddings are adorable. They can bring guests so much joy and it’s a great chance to see them if you live far away. Having a catch up and seeing families at weddings may be the only time that you see them that year. This is the case for me. I have a very large family, majority of whom live in Derby and when I see them for a wedding or event, I end up meeting another cousin or a new addition to the family. I love it and I miss them when I come back home.
Kids at weddings are hilarious. Depending on their moods, kids can bring out some of the funniest moments at weddings. From saying the funniest things, doing something funny at a particular moment or rocking the dance floor with their cute dance moves. You can keep them entertained with goodie bags, games, colouring books and so on. But the main thing is, you need to keep them entertained.
I definitely see the pros of a kid-free wedding for many reasons. The main reason is the long days. When it comes to weddings, a full day can be tiring. Weddings tire me out massively, I love them, but I’m shattered by the end of the day. For my cousin’s wedding we woke up at 3:30am and I got home at 9:30pm so can you imagine how tired a child would be?
I’ve been to a few weddings now where the ceremony has unfortunately been interrupted. In all these instances it has been child-related. It’s not their fault, they’re in an environment where they’re forced to sit still and it’s restrictive. I totally get it. However in these cases, their parents have to take them outside; thus missing the ceremony. Or their parents try to settle them during the ceremony and then the guests can’t hear the vows.
Parents night off
For a lot of parents, having a night away from their kids is a must. I’m not a parent yet so this is information from all my parental friends. They love their children but love to have a night or weekend away where they can have a good time and let their hair down.
The final decision
In the end we ultimately decided not to have children at our wedding. A lot of our friends have quite literally jumped with joy at this outcome (the ones with kids). They have been waiting for our wedding for almost as long as I have, so are really excited to have a night or 2 away to celebrate.
What are your thoughts on inviting kids to weddings? Let me know below.
Photography: Darina Stoda0