Secret Wedding Blog

Life Update: September 2016

Secret Wedding Blog Flat

It’s Sunday morning and I’m on my sofa with a cup of coffee. I never drink coffee because it makes my heart feel like it’s going to explode but thought I’d try one out. Less of that and more lemon and ginger tea instead please. Instead of sharing the next wedding I have for you, I wanted to sit quietly and just ramble, about recent a life update.

Blog Pressures

Every now and again, life gets busy which means the blog gets pushed out of focus. Which to me, is okay. No-one pressures me for new weddings or posts, I put that pressure on myself. I sometimes get to the point where I haven’t blogged in a while and suddenly begin to panic or stress. The other day I asked Mark what he thought about me setting up Secret Wedding Blog when I decided to start this in May 2013, he said:

As long as it makes you happy then that’s good, that’s all that matters

It’s a good point. The blog does make me happy, it’s my little way of contributing to the world in the form of multicultural and interfaith weddings. I need to focus on that instead of worrying about not getting another post up asap. As they always say ‘Quality, on quantity’ and I will always stay true to the blog’s niche.

Wellington Mews - Newbury{Old flat}

Hello new flat, bye old flat

What a month of changes. We began our adventure on April 2015 when we moved down to Newbury, Berkshire for work. Over 2.5 hours away from home, it was a big change. We rented a beautiful converted flat, that used to be a pub, (we even had the original cellar – which was slightly creepy for me) right next to town. It was such a good location – walking distance to the town centre, dentist, doctors, supermarkets, parks, pokestops and more. It was great and our first place living together to suss out the area.

It was fast approaching a year of renting when we decided we wanted to buy somewhere. The property market prices in Berkshire are almost double compared to ‘back home’. Swallowing this fact, we started searching. We looked at one new build outside of Newbury – which was adding another 20 minutes onto our commute – I refused though. My commute was 18 minutes long, I loved it. Leave work at 5.30 and be home before 6pm. Perfect. I knew we could do better, so when we looked at the second property I knew it was the one. The amount of natural light coming through sold it for me, I could see us living there.

New flat{new flat}

I always tend to get over-excited and obsessed with things very easily. I had to stop myself doing that with this flat in case we didn’t get it and I’d be disappointed. Trying to keep my cool and remain calm, we put in an offer and it was accepted. The process took 6 months from the offer being accepted to the completion date and now we’re officially homeowners!

Moving in was an exciting and tiring day – my fitbit was jumping for joy as I reached way over my daily goal of steps. I didn’t blog during this time, I wanted to enjoy us moving in together. It also turns out that I’m pretty good at making IKEA furniture – 7 hours of building a chest of drawers, I did all by myself. Well done me. I don’t need no man.

Building IKEA furniture


In the space of a week – four of our besties got engaged (2 couples) which brought on another level of excitement. I’ve known that both girls had been waiting and waiting for their other halves to propose for ages. It was pretty much what we discussed every time I saw them. The guys wouldn’t budge though and you know how guys keep things to themselves. Gemma and I even had a bet on to see who would get engaged first, me or her. Well, she now owes me £5 – thank you very much.

Unmarried Indian girl living with a boy

As it always comes back to the culture, there’s the fact that I’m an unmarried Indian girl living with a boy. Blasphemy! In the Asian culture, they don’t really focus on partners, unless you’re married. It’s true that I wanted to get married before we lived together, I said that from day one, but reality kicks in. What if we didn’t get on living together after we got married? How are we going to afford a wedding? What’s the priority here? Do my grandparents know about Mark yet?

After living together for over a year – we knew we’d be fine buying a place and living together (despite his mess!).

Affording a wedding – well this one is up to us. Our parents won’t be paying for it, and I don’t expect them to. We want to earn the money and do it ourselves, which means we need more time to save.

The priority was to get on the property ladder.

And finally my grandparents know about Mark so I can discuss this without ‘an auntie’ running to my grandma saying ‘Eh, look at what your grand-daughter is doing!’ (Worst part of the Asian community).

Raj and Mark

Wedding Blog Awards

A quick mention to say that I’ve been shortlisted for Best Multicultural Weddings Blog in the Wedding Blog Awards 2016. So if you did want to vote for me, you can do it here. Thanks!


Things that I want to do more of – so keep me in check guys!

  • See my family
  • Visit friends
  • Read more of my books
  • Feature new types of weddings I’ve never featured before
  • Fill my daily gratitude journal

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  • Reply Lauren Loves Laughter September 6, 2016 at 9:48 am

    I just found your blog after listening to your interview on The Bridechilla Podcast, and I absolutely love what you’re doing here 🙂
    My mum’s Chinese and my dad’s Italian so we’re quite a mixed family and it’s lovely to see a a blog showing weddings that are a bit different to what you find in the magazines!
    Also – congrats on the new place! It’s such an exciting time and so much fun making it your own! We just bought our apartment at the start of last year and got engaged in December – so I’m sure it will be your turn soon! hehe :p
    Thanks for the awesome wedding inspiration!

    (also Ikea drawers take forever to put together – but it feels so good once you’ve done it doesn’t it? Such an accomplishment! haha 😉

    Lauren x

    • Raj
      Reply Raj September 8, 2016 at 11:28 am

      Hey Lauren,
      Aww thanks for your kind compliments about the blog, love that you’re from a mixed family! It’s true – it’s different from what you usually find in magazines 🙂

      Haha thank you, very excited to have our own place at last. It really does, I look at those drawers with pride now ha.

      Congratulations on your engagement! I checked out your engagement story – it’s so lovely.

      Let me know if I can help at all!


  • Reply Avneet September 9, 2016 at 9:13 pm

    Hi Raj,

    I have been reading your blog for a while and love your content! I recently got married and had a fusion wedding so I can completely relate to your posts. Coming from an Asian background, I can understand the difficulties of being an unmarried girl living with a boy! Luckily the Asian community is changing and hopefully it won’t be such a big deal in the near future. Congratulations on your new place!! Hope you and your partner are settling in and are enjoying turning it into a home.
    Avneet x

    • Raj
      Reply Raj September 11, 2016 at 5:48 pm

      Hi Avneet,
      Aww thanks for your comment!
      Nice to hear from someone else who can relate.
      Agree that it’s changing, just takes time for the older generation to come to acceptance!

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