Wedding planning can be difficult and not always the easiest thing to do with so many aspects to consider. Now multicultural wedding planning can be twice as hard when culture, religion and traditions need to be adhered to. Especially when you have grandparents and parents that have ideas of how they want your wedding to be.
Depending on your culture, race, religion etc each wedding will be different to each couple. There are so many traditions that are followed in weddings over generations, some more important than others. I’ve said many times that before you start planning your wedding and making executive decisions, a sit down with your parents (and sometimes grandparents) is essential. They could have traditions that you may not have thought about or considered that you perhaps want to incorporate. When planning a multicultural wedding your parents may not be 100% happy with your decisions. You may often hear ‘In my time’ or ‘This is how it’s done’ to ‘This is what you should do.’ This is where you respectfully explain your reasoning behind what you want, don’t want and why.
One scenario that I will use as an example is planning a Sikh Christian wedding. A Sikh bride marrying a Christian groom. Now if you’re based in the UK, you will know that Gurdwaras (Sikh temples) don’t allow interfaith marriages inside the temple, so a Gurdwara wedding is out of the question. This could be particularly hard for the bride’s parents and grandparents if they are strong Sikhs and have wanted the bride to be married in the Gurdwara.
The groom could be a devoted Christian, Church goer and want to have a Church wedding. Depending on the Church, some require the couple to attend services before allowing them to get married there (based on what some Christians have told me – obviously varies on Church and location). Same again, the groom’s parents may have always wanted their son to get married in a Church.
The drawback to multicultural weddings is that it’s not an easy straightforward process and compromises will have to be. Did that Sikh bride want to get married in the Gurdwara she’s attended for years? Sure, but some things can’t be changed – unless you ask Destination Sikh Priest to fly over from Canada to perform the wedding. It may be that she can have her pre-wedding traditions, have a Christian or civil ceremony and incorporate more traditions into their reception. The groom may want to show his support by wearing a sherwani for the reception too. Just a few ideas of how to incorporate and blend traditions together to make your beautiful fusion wedding.
The Guest List
For some weddings, couples invite guests to the ceremony and the reception, they are expected to attend the whole day (even including any pre-wedding events). For other weddings, only a select number of guests are invited to the ceremony and some are only invited to the evening. This can be down to costs – which is always an essential factor. (Read my A-Z guide to wedding guests here)
If your parents insist on inviting certain people who you know, but couldn’t warrant paying the extra £X amount per head, your parents need to know. You may kindly suggest that if they would like those people there – then a donation or a contribution towards your wedding from your parents will be greatly appreciated. It’s a fair enough argument in my opinion. If you are paying for the whole wedding yourselves, then your parents will have to understand that you can’t justify paying that much more for those obligatory guests.
There are many weddings I’ve featured on the blog where the couple honour each other’s faiths by having two ceremonies. This is the dream, if your budget fits it, as both families get to experience each other’s own ceremonies. The reason why I adore fusion and multicultural weddings is the creative way that people from all over the world personalise their wedding. Whether it’s a civil ceremony honouring traditions, or a 5 day fusion wedding, each couple know what is important to them, this is the most important part.0