Why I Defend Multicultural Marriages Against People Like This


I recently came across this article on Sikhsangat and was disgusted with the attitude of this person’s comment for so many reasons. I don’t tend to go on religious forums because I end up feeling very disappointed in people’s views. It’s such a shame because this is the typical narrow minded rubbish that I know people still think like. Reading it over again while I write this post. My toes are curling, I can feel a knot in my stomach. I almost want to cry because of this person’s ignorance. 
So - let’s go through all the points shall we…

“I’ve noticed virtually every sikh woman who foolishly dated and married someone outside their faith have had their marriages end in divorce.”

How are Sikh women foolish for falling in love? What is the crime in that, if anything it shows a lot more about love as it shows that the Sikh women fall in love with the person regardless of anything else. How many people do you know that have been divorced? Many marriages end up in divorce so this doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

“Most of these women tend to have married white atheist/Christian men and it always ends very badly very bitter divorces.”

There are a number of very bitter divorces, this person’s racist comment implies that White Atheist men and Christian men are bitter. That the divorce will occur because of them and not the ‘Sikh woman’. Oh how wrong you are. So many divorces out there have occurred for so many reasons for each couple. If you want to know bitter divorces, google celebrity divorces and see how bitter some of them are. 

“There was this one punjaban I got to know called [names not allowed!] she married her white boyfriend and divorced 2 years later after she caught him cheating and now she’s letting herself being used and abused by guys in clubs and one night stands in online dating sites. Another punjabi girl I knew who was from south England Kent she dressed up like a goth and was into the satanic dark heavy metal scene she married her white atheist satanic boyfriend and 2 years later he died of aids after contracting it through heavy drug use through needles. Now she is online dating going out with all sorts ……a lost cause a shame on her parents and community.”

I’ll split this into two parts, with the first. It’s such a shame what happened to that woman, it really is. But instead of trying to name and shame her on a forum, why don’t you help her? She is obviously in need of help and it appears she’s not getting any.

Secondly - she dressed up as a goth, so? How does that affect you? It’s her choice of how she dresses, it’s not as you are made to dress that way. It’s an extremely difficult situation to be lose your husband, to become a widow, I wouldn’t wish that upon anyone. But now she is being brave and getting back out there and she is being judged because ‘she’s online dating, going out with all sorts’. Good for her, I say! She needs to find out what she wants in a person and online dating may be perfect for her.

“Shame on her parents and the community”

This is what annoys me the most when people care so much about bringing shame on the community and parents, oh and the honour. What you choose to do with your love life is between you and your other half and then your parents. It has nothing to do with the community. If  you did everything the community wanted you to do, you wouldn’t be able to live your life freely. For example, the rise of honour killings because people have married outside of their caste or religion! When parents kill their own child because they want to marry for love? What is the honour in that? I’m sure your God will be so pleased with you. (sarcastic *claps*)

How are we doing, okay? I know it’s a long one, but let’s continue with what this man says.

“Now I’ve just read an article of a bitter divorce where the Parminder Nagra a punjabi british actress of Sikh heritage married her white Atheist/Christian photographer boyfriend a few years ago. While I was reading the article I thought to myself is this the state of affairs these days that these moronic punjabis can think they will be happier with non-sikh guy after the lust and fun times are over?”

Each to their own, I 100% admire people who marry outside of their religion. It is so so difficult at first when telling your parents (trust me on this!) but it gets better after that. I know so many couples who have multicultural marriages are so happy, so please Sir, don’t assume the worst in people. Just because you have mentioned a few unfortunate events, doesn’t mean everyone is the same. In addition to this -

 “I thought to myself is this the state of affairs these days that these moronic punjabis can think they will be happier with non-sikh guy after the lust and fun times are over?”

I hate to break it to you but yes, many people will be happier marrying outside their faith than marrying someone of their own. I am smug in saying this because I know it for a FACT. Many women have been forced in arranged marriages and then found it hasn’t worked, they then re-marry to someone who they actually fell in love with (Not based on religion) and oh look, it worked! They are so happy and the fact that they get a second chance to re-marry and live their life, well that to me, is incredible.

The last comment - oh wow. Erm…where do I even begin with this?

“Maybe its a good thing that Indian parents prefer males over females in Indian and punjabi society as women themselves are not responsible for the future well being of the community no more and will exploit their freedoms and shun their responsibilities in a liberal westernised carefree hedonistic mindset and society.”

It seems that this person is blaming all Indian women for the future of the ‘community’ because they choose to live their own lives? Okay…we live in a Western World, well I certainly do in England and I’m proud of it. So if you are so against multicultural marriages, why are you living in the Western world? (I assume you are from what you’ve said). Multicultural marriages are happening a lot more and are being widely accepted more and more. A big well done to the parents, as I know it can be hard for them to accept based on their own upbringing.

Lastly - Indian parents preferring males over females… *sighs* I can’t even begin to go into this.
Well actually, I’ll let you, my beautiful loyal readers let me know your thoughts on this. Please note that racist comments or abuse will not be tolerated.

I would also like to apologise, although Secret Wedding Blog isn’t made for ranting, I feel this couldn’t be ignored. It is one for the reasons why I started my blog to tarnish negative views away from multicultural weddings and marriages. I’m aware that I won’t be able to change everyone’s minds but you’ve got to start somewhere and I’m on your side beautiful people, as always xoxo.

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